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How to recognize an abuser at the beginning of a relationship

Today you walk under the moon, timidly hold hands and make plans for a joint future. And when the flair of romance is replaced by a monotonous life, your beloved turns into another person. And you cannot understand why such dramatic changes have occurred. He puts moral pressure on you, humiliates you, and, even worse, dissolves your hands. And you are perplexed how a cute and pleasant guy turned into a real monster. In fact, the nature of the tyrant is complex and ornate, so it can be difficult to recognize it at the initial stage of the relationship. How to understand that a man is a tyrant, even if he is hiding under the guise of integrity, I will tell in this article.

Why the tyrant chose you
If you believe that cruel fate has unfairly distributed people to each other, then you are greatly mistaken. Perhaps this will sound cruel and cause a storm of indignation, but women attract women to their life as a tyrant (abuser). People who, for one reason or another, subconsciously seek to be punished, find themselves the “executioner.” As a rule, timid good-natured ladies, as well as women with a victim complex, are at risk. At the same time, the situation does not change, even if men change.

There is a saying: “If a third husband is already beating in the face, then most likely the matter is not in her husband, but in his face.” Even if a person is prone to tyranny, he can behave differently with different women. A strong-willed and strong lady is unlikely to tolerate bullying over herself, while a forgiving woman with a fine mental organization for years withstands violence, both emotional and physical.

The conclusion follows from this: the tyrant man next to you is not by chance, this is a consequence not only of his actions, but also of your hidden appeal. The good news is that you can interrupt this endless rake dance.

How to become tyrants
Men prone to violence are conventionally divided into three categories. The former display aggression only in a state of affect, after which they tearfully pray for forgiveness. The second does not see anything shameful in regularly “educating” his wife and children through a strong word and slap. The third most dangerous: they are psychologically dependent on violence and do not see a difference in who to hit, a bully on the street or you for salted soup.

Tyrannical traits of character are laid in the personality of a person based on many factors:

Authoritarian methods of parenting in the family;
Lack of parental warmth and attention;
Inferiority complex;
The abuser family practiced assault.
As practice shows, children who watched from a young age how problems in the family are solved through the use of force, in most cases, adopt a similar model of behavior. The character of a strong and authoritarian parent with whom it is better not to argue is the path of least resistance of the future abuser. Exerting moral pressure and physical impact, he deprives relatives of the opportunity to express their own opinions, and therefore, to contradict.

How to recognize an abuser at the beginning of a relationship
The tyrant, knowing about his inclinations, carefully hides them at the beginning of the relationship. You fall in love with a strong, fun and charming guy. His temperament, assertiveness and desire to conquer you conquers you. But, when your fortress falls, be prepared for unpleasant surprises.

It is important to recognize the abuser at that stage, while the relationship has not shackled your hands and feet. A tyrant is characterized by certain character traits:

He is selfish
This can be seen on the first dates. He talks a lot about himself and has little interest in you. Moreover, the information that interests him about you is more like interrogation: place of work, material well-being, experience of previous relationships, and so on. In this way, he probes the soil and concludes whether he can get near you without any problems and obligations.

He is greedy
If at first the gentleman allows himself to lead you to a cafe or buys gifts, later such gestures become less and less. Why? His generosity was only an investment. And now you have to work it out. Needless to say, if greed manifests itself immediately: a metro instead of a taxi, a walk in the park instead of going to a restaurant, gifts for a promotion or their complete absence. Do not justify the tyrant’s greed by his frugality and remember that the stinginess of such people is not only in his wallet. She is in the shower. The tyrant is poor in the manifestation of emotions, because he focuses only on himself.

He is very jealous
This item stems from the previous one. Greed and jealousy always go hand in hand. Many women are flattered by the zeal with which men seek them and how they defend it against rivals. A tyrant in a relationship not only designates territory, he turns a woman into his property. At the same time, he finds reason for jealousy even where he has never been. The object can be your colleague, childhood friend, boss and even relative. Yes, jealousy for children and parents is also often manifested.

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