Seven signs of mature love
Mainly because we in vain believe in all the wrong signs of love. We in vain believe that true love is all about romance and beautiful gestures, about strong, passionate feelings that encourage you to do what you have never done before.
We believe that true love is not only a phenomenon, that it is indicated by a fixed set of attitudes and values. We believe that true love makes you want to spend every second next to your loved one, which makes you jealous and deeply afraid that one wrong step can lead to the loss of the object of such passion.
And when your story begins, you confuse passion with love. Do not think that love is something concrete.
If “True Love” were something concrete, then this would be the logical opposite of “Fake Love”.
There is no true love, because it is either love, no. This is either love, or passion, possessiveness, “stroking” your ego, or any other unhealthy relationship that is not marked by trust, respect and sincere bestowal.
However, there is a tangible difference between mature and immature love.
Here are signs of mature love:
1. You can discuss everything and everyone
It can be difficult for people to talk about certain topics. In a relationship, conversation topics can range from being angry with your colleague, to a former partner that you are still jealous of; from who should wash clothes this week, to why you are afraid that you will die alone; from why your partner did not call to inform you that he would be late, to why you did not like his / her new haircut. And this is just offhand.
The ability to calmly talk about what is bothering you, outside and inside the relationship, is a tremendous value. This is more than just an opportunity to blurt out your unfiltered thoughts, in fact, it’s not even about blurting out something emotionally.
This is a sense of security and recognition. It’s about being old enough to know how to articulate what bothers you, and old enough to know how to listen to each other. Skill required. It takes practice. And it is desirable to develop this skill in yourself.
2. You respect each other’s need for loneliness
Mature love is what we spend time together, as well as how to spend time separately from each other. Being alone is a basic human need. Time spent with ourselves, regardless of whether we are deep in thought or engaged in healthy activities, is time spent for self-improvement. Healthy, mature couples use their time alone. They also need time to miss each other so that they can happily meet again as people who can truly value each other’s company. When couples manage to respect each other’s need for loneliness without being tenacious or needy, demanding attention when the other cannot give it, then they know that they have mature love.
3. You respect each other’s need for personal space
As in the case of personal time, personal space is a human need. Of course, mature couples can talk about everything, but this does not mean that they should constantly engage in each other. Each person in a couple has their own time, and everyone knows what to share and what to keep with them. We all need a level of confidentiality that is valid for both our concerns and our personal problems. When couples can respect each other’s personal space, relationships are strengthened, because this means that everything that is shared with them is shared voluntarily, and that’s the whole difference.
4. You respect the need of each other to have friends outside the couple
Having friends outside the couple does not mean that something is missing in the relationship. No relationship, no matter how good and mature they may be, can not be enough for anyone. People are social beings, we should not rely on one person to satisfy all our needs. That is why our relations with family, colleagues, friends and other important people are formed differently: because these are different relations with different people. Each has its own dynamics. It’s good for a couple to have separate friends outside the relationship. To be able to go out, share experiences and come back with updated, loaded stories that you can share.
5. In fact, you just really respect each other
Respect, more than communication, is the foundation for any healthy relationship. Communication is not even possible without respect. When couples respect each other as individuals, they cultivate patience and understanding. When there is respect, there is no fear of how someone can respond to a problem, dilemma, or any dark problem. Where there is no respect, there is no maturity. Where there is no respect, there can hardly be love.