Married at all costs
Since childhood, almost every one of us has been taught that being alone is embarrassing. To be an “old maid” is the worst thing that can happen to a woman.
It is customary for us to make fun of single women or pity them. Not an inspiring prospect, huh? For this reason, most women seek by all means to cling to a man and get the coveted stamp in their passport.
It becomes so important for us to marry at any cost that the question “for whom?” Ceases to matter. And because of this, the girls make the most terrible mistake. They begin to pretend and adapt to the interests and tastes of the man, so that he understands that she is “the same” and offered her hand and heart as quickly as possible.
On the first date, they accept any offer of a man, so that, God forbid, not to scare. He calls for a walk in the park at minus 15 with a barrage of wind, and are you in thin stockings and stilettos? Of course you have to go! Obviously, he saves, and you try to please him. As a result, in response to his strange proposal, instead of surprise and a firm no, he receives a radiant smile and consent. So, she doesn’t even realize that something is wrong.
And further (until reaching the coveted “marriage”), the woman will pretend that she is interested in the same thing as him, laugh at primitive jokes, demonstrate that she completely shares all his hobbies and thoughts, even if this is completely not so. With all her behavior, she will inspire him with “we are a perfect couple” only in order to drag him to the registry office.
What is the result?
looking for dresses, girls mistakes at the beginning of a relationship
Usually “insight” comes quickly enough. My clients, who got married in this way, say that after 2-3 years comes the understanding that you live with a completely stranger who absolutely does not want to listen to your desires. And what did they achieve?
A militant vegetarian may be married to a hunter and a meat-eater. An athlete who loves outdoor activities can relate her life to a sloth, for whom the most active vacation is to chop into “tanks” on a computer.
The indefatigable party girl will marry a couch potato requiring at least 3 children from her.
Therefore, after a couple of years of such a marriage, when the passions had already subsided and the woman “breathed out” from being married, it turns out that there is nothing to talk about with her husband, I don’t want to share each other’s hobbies and in general it’s somehow not fun to be married and not as good as planned.
As a result, these women find themselves in my consultation with questions: “what should I do to make him change?”, “How to make him?”, Etc.
And everything could have been much simpler if, in order to get a husband, they did not pretend that they liked everything. They didn’t lie that they loved him as he is. And they would have waited a little more and met their real half. With similar interests and outlooks on life. In which nothing needs to be changed and corrected. Under which you do not need to adapt, but you can relax and be yourself.
Loneliness is not nearly worse than living with a person who does not suit you. Therefore, when you start a relationship with someone, first of all think about yourself and your desires, do not be afraid to voice them to a man. If he shares your worldview, then this will not scare him away, and if not, then this is simply not your person and you should not spend your time on it.
Get rid of groundless fears, gain healthy selfishness and be happy!