Love and close relationships: male and female features
Studies by ethologists have shown that the characteristics of male and female human behavior are not unique: many animals have the same differences.
Male monkeys have better expressed spatial abilities and are more aggressive, females tend to cooperate and care for their neighbors. A reasonable question arises: why do they need it? The answer is quite obvious: because they have different reproductive strategies.
The male seeks to impregnate as many females as possible, which means that he must move a lot and be able to defeat other males. The main share of care for the offspring falls on the female, which means that she should be caring, capable of sympathy and inclined to teachings.
In humans and other primates, males compete with each other, demonstrating the advantages of their genes, and females choose them. M initiates sexual behavior, and M controls it, choosing which genes to propagate and which to reject. Choose meticulously – status, wealth, intelligence. Perhaps W is not going to multiply at all, but the ancient layers of the brain responsible for sexual behavior do not know anything about the invention of contraceptives.
Interest in sex is aroused in boys earlier and becomes much more important for them than for girls. M dreams of sex, while M dreams of love. They need relationships and feelings, and sex only makes sense in their context.
And women and men (most of them) love each other in themselves: she – because he loves her, he – because she gives him pleasure in sex. Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to understand whether she loves him. And a man can understand if he loves a woman after spending the night with her. And all this is because for a woman the goal is love, and sex is a means. For a man, it’s the opposite: the goal is sex, and love is the means. A woman wants a lot, but from one man. A man wants one, but from many women.
It’s easier for a woman to fall in love than to confess her love. And it’s easier for a man to confess than to fall in love.
“Men usually love those women whom they respect; women respect the men they love” (V.O. Klyuchevsky).
Men and women understand love differently, value different things in love. Love or not? Love or just like? How much do I love? “Women often find answers to such questions in their hearts and feelings: the heart trembles, next to it I lose my will — my beloved. Men (if they are not only boys, but men) more often answer these questions with decisions and deeds. I chose, I decided , made an offer, gave a word – I keep my word and proud of what I love. See →
Men and women have slightly different needs for love. Belief in his strength and abilities, lack of reproaches for him (accepting him as he is), appreciation for his care, admiration for his achievements, approval of his decisions and encouragement of his efforts are important for men in love and close relationships. Women need something else, namely caring, understanding, respect, devotion, recognition, reinforcement of confidence.
Also, male and female jealousy are phenomena of a different nature. If a woman is confident in her partner’s love, the fact of physical betrayal may be indifferent to her. However, it is almost impossible to convince a woman that physical intimacy was without feelings.