How to interest yourself and the family of an interesting person
To interest, to enthrall, to conquer, to muddle … – different people solve this question in different ways. And if we agree on future relations, then how to do it more competently?
Conquest of man
Conquering a man is not the best formulation. Conquest is something in the realm of warfare, and hardly a man is a trophy of war. Nevertheless, elements of military art in attracting a man’s heart by a woman are present, and you need to be familiar with them.
See the article Conquering a Woman
Family proposal: how to talk about what you want
Dear women, please do not scare men. Make sure that your chosen one, if possible, does not hear from you the phrase “I want to get married.” This phrase, so understandable and natural for most women, for most men sounds very different. When a man hears that a woman wants to marry, he hears that she wants to find someone who will support her, that a woman is either going to sit on someone’s neck, or to hide from problems behind someone’s broad back, behind her husband’s back .
If you have not understood all the masculine meanings, then there is a similar phrase that is very understandable and natural for most men, but for most women it sounds completely different, namely: “I want a woman.” If a man shares this desire with his chosen one and in this connection offers to live with him, – most likely, this will sound insulting to a woman. So, “I want to get married” from a woman, a man hears in the same way as “I want a woman”, a woman hears from a man.
How will be correct? Wise women know this wording: “You know, I have long dreamed of finding a person whom I can take care of, with whom we can be close so that everyone feels free, but that we feel warm and comfortable together.” She said nothing about the fact that she wants to get married, but with such formulations she will be married soon enough.
What suggestion do they usually make
Usually a man always makes an offer and, as a rule, in a standard form: “I love you and therefore let’s get married.”
Options: “I ask you (I offer you) to become my wife.”
Whatever the variations, they are all meaningless. He knows neither her, nor himself in family life, he does not really understand what awaits them, but he offers her this “pig in a poke”. And her consent or refusal is no more meaningful: after all, one cannot accept or reject a proposal without fully understanding what it consists of. At the same time, it is necessary to make sure that both of them make sense to become husband and wife. And it’s better now, and not in a year, when they will probably have a baby in their arms.
So how should it be?
If you do not bind yourself with conventions, then to make a proposal (as well as declare in love) should be the one who has the corresponding desire in his soul (and this may be a woman).
Of course, men’s initiative is more familiar and more natural, but why put a moral ban on women’s initiative? If she sees that they are better off getting married, and can convincingly show him this, – why is it bad?
Often, women instead of sentences put an ultimatum: either – or. Or get married, or a break – we run up. This is an extreme, desperate measure and, as a rule, with an unpredictable, if not negative effect. Smarter: “I will still be with you because I love you, but both of us and you will feel better if we get married.” This is a concern for him, and proven, it becomes the strongest argument …
Well, and most importantly – this is the essence of the proposal.
Let the young man invite the girl … to think and try whether we can make a family. Suppose so:
“We have developed a very warm and good relationship. I am very grateful to you for being like that. In my opinion, together we are much better than apart. I have an offer for you. Let’s think, can we get a family? How can we have it? ”
What does a young man offer a girl here? – to marry him? “No, he doesn’t offer her that.” He offers her to think … Perhaps this is really not superfluous: before you get married, think and think together?
And how is it to think? One of the possible and very reasonable ways is to use a special questionnaire. It will help you not to miss anything important for you and, without tying you in anything, can serve as a good support for joint reflection.