The power of love: how much is beloved – beloved?
How do we understand that this is love, not cheap stuff? How do we determine the power of love, which helps us answer the questions “Love or not? Love or just like? How much do I love?” How many people – so many answers.
Each has its own language of love: the language of mindfulness or the language of gifts, the language of time given only to you – or the language of help, the language of greedy sex, gentle touches, the language of delighted words and the language of obedience. If you and your beloved speak different languages of love, then the strongest love may seem no, between you – misunderstanding …
Each has its own signs of love – those markers and beacons that signal a person that he loves. Someone speaks about the power of love simply by the totality of signs, however, the signs of love no longer speak about the power of love, but about its volume and boundaries. Here it is – not here. Here it was – here it ended.
Women more often seek answers to questions about the power of love in their hearts and feelings: the heart trembles, next to it I lose my will – my beloved. Men (if they are not only boys, but men) more often answer these questions with decisions and deeds. I chose, decided, made an offer, gave my word – I keep my word and proud of what I love.
For someone, everything is simple: either I love or I do not like, there is no third. People with a finer mental organization know both the shades and the power of feeling, can notice their spiritual cooling, and someone can maintain internal combustion.
Those for whom love is equal to falling in love ↑, measure the strength of love by physical attraction to a loved one and a share of folly: it blows the brains – which means that love is strong. The strength of love-passion is measured by the willingness to make recklessness for the sake of a loved one, to throw everything at the feet of a loved one so that it is expensive earlier. Apart from spending money. But if the mind is maintained (or restored) – love is not in force.
People of an experienced type measure the strength of love by time and the depth of suffering in the loss of a loved one. The widow is crying – that means she loved. For many, “I love it or not” is simply determined by how painful it is to lose this person.
If it doesn’t hurt, then it’s not beloved; if it doesn’t hurt, then it’s beloved. Terribly painful – very beloved …
More precisely, it is not quite love. This is pre-love, this is need, this is affection. As Vladimir Levy wisely wrote,
Love is measured by the measure of forgiveness
affection with the pain of farewell …
With the growth of personality, the criterion of “Love or not” becomes different. “Beloved” begins to mean: I am considerate of you, I’m talking to you, you are dear to me, it’s not difficult for me to give in, I’m ready to forgive you for not forgiving others, I take care of you with joy. But at the same time, if something happens to you, if you leave, I can not torture myself … If love was not mutual, then there is no point, and if you loved me, then you yourself always wished me only happiness, and it is dear to me, what is dear to you.
And here is another person: he will spit on you, will swear at you, yell, you are to blame for everything. But if he parted with you – he would suffer, suffer, shoot himself – he was terribly painful.
Question: what kind of person do you need? Who does nothing, but only scandals and then suffers from guilt; or who cares and loves light? If you want him to suffer while you are not around, then the question is: why?
For adults, love is still care and attention when you are together, and not torment after parting. People of an active type measure the strength of love by their readiness to conquer, give gifts and take care carefully: rejoice at the opportunity to take care of a loved one.
The wife cares – that means she loves. At night, the inscription appeared on the pavement: “Good morning, darling!” – someone didn’t sleep at night to display each letter in order to present to his beloved – joy.
Love is measured not by suffering and fear, but by joy and deeds. Caring and attention, craving for a person and the joy of being together, the desire to give and responsibility in obligations are the main axis that measures the power of love.
What is love: a place of a beloved (beloved) on the scale of values
However, even having decided on the axis, we have not yet answered the question – where is my or your love located on this axis? Each of us has our own hierarchy of life values, and each love takes its place in this hierarchy. Any girl is interested in what place she occupies in the heart of a young man: if it’s higher than beer, but lower than mother, it’s a shame. If above all other women, but after business – normal.