How I saved our family
Like any girl, getting married, I counted on a long and happy family life. I had expectations, illusions and much more. But these expectations were broken on everyday life. And after the birth of a child, we faced a serious crisis that lasted more than one year.
That’s what I want to tell you about. This is very personal, and for a long time I did not want to write about it. But at the same time, I understand that only an example inspires. Only a personal example and personal stories.
When our eldest son was born, we were on the verge of a divorce. We were not ready for such a load (the baby shouted almost around the clock, there were problems with hepatitis B, stomach and so on). In addition, even before his birth, we took a business loan secured by an apartment. But the business did not go. So we were left with a baby in our arms without an apartment.
There was no money either, because her husband decided to do business. And at first I had to tighten my belts. We lived on a child allowance of 1650 rubles and on the help of grandmothers.
It was unrealistically difficult, especially for me. I used to be strong. I’m used to doing everything myself. I got used to a certain abundance – I used to work in three jobs and buy what I wanted. Herself. And then my hands were tied. I could not leave the little one and go to solve problems. I had to sit, wait and hope. Which is very annoying.
Of course, I now understand that I did not believe in husband then. And did not help him, but rather the opposite. With my paranoia, I deprived him of the opportunity to solve problems. I squeezed it into the sofa, into computer games, into beer … What inspiration is it – debts, squabbles with bandits, parents’ shock, a small child and another vixen wife.
Having lost everything that we had in Irkutsk, we decided to move to Petersburg. Because what’s the difference where to start from scratch. I wanted to move for a long time.
In St. Petersburg, no one was waiting for us, there was very little money for the first month. There was no work either. My husband was spinning as best he could – he was selling ice cream on the beach, he got wheels in the subway and got a job. In parallel, we developed Self-Knowledge …
Relations from all of this did not improve. Stably 1-2 times a week, we swore in the trash. To tears, tantrums and divorce. Then they cooled and everything continued on. But such quarrels took away strength, they did not give the opportunity to grow and progress.
At the same time, our friend, Sasha, gave us a disk. And he said that you need to listen to him. It was the year 2007. We smiled, and put the disk deeper into the boxes. Like, some other disks were missing.
A little later, the financial situation leveled off – an opportunity appeared in order to earn money. The portal began to bring some money. And we hit the race. More customers, increase the average bill and so on … This did not bring happiness, the number of quarrels did not decrease.
We moved from St. Petersburg to Pushkin – closer to nature and cheap housing. They rented an empty apartment. Given that we had no furniture, we slept on the floor. Things were stored in boxes. The cutting table was on the windowsill. In general, ascetic. But fresh air, park, ducks …
A light in the end of a tunnel
And one evening, sorting the boxes, my husband took out a disk. It was already 2008. For a year now, the disk was lying around with us. For some reason, we decided to listen to him. It was an audio training by Oleg Gadetsky “Laws of Fate.” And after that we could not turn it off.
It was a strange sensation – as if I crawled out of my box and saw a huge bottomless sky. So expanded consciousness. So much more was seen and understood.
Almost immediately, we began to try. They tried to get up early, go to bed early, wish everyone happiness … And life began to change. Miracles began to happen. And most importantly, the inner feeling began to change. Hopelessness and constant depressions passed. There was a realization that money is far from everything. And the reason is not in them. They are more likely a consequence.
At the end of the first disc, we asked for a second. It was already Oleg Gennadievich Torsunov. And I am infinitely grateful to him for lectures on family relationships. As I remember now, the shame that I experienced when I first heard about women’s responsibilities. How many of them do I actually perform? None.
I cooked just to feed – what love is there!
I never loved to get out, not to mention ironing and washing.
I had many secrets from my husband – starting from how much the dress cost, ending with the fact that I was not sure that it was the best for me.
In general, the question of fidelity for me became a thunder in the blue. I realized that not a single day I was faithful to him. It always seemed to me that somewhere there is someone better. That I deserve more. What could happen to someone else. And other nonsense.